“I wish I would have listen to some of my friends that did this before.. run man, run, your soul is not worth that amount of pay”. I get there and I meet my team, I am the youngest one there, they don´t know what they are doing either. 

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You will have 2 and a half hours to learn that system, so you can deal with the incoming calls. I can formulate my voice so that people calm down. 

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 But I like people to have the best deal they can get. If you would have been in front of me I probably would have punched you, but that would have leading to hospital and to prison. I feel between a hundred and ten to a hundred and 30 calls a day. I spend 6 h on this. They want you back by name..I get payed more money but I don´t understand why, but ok. Did you hear about these bonuses? This guy knows I don´t wanna do full time. Part time is my thing.. "Your average handle-time should be under 2.45 minutes to get the bonus." Yesterday I had a handle time of 1.18 minutes, but I couldn´t get the bonus.

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Don't you see? I'm old, I'm done. I'm exhausted. I cannot do this all by myself. You need to assist me in this. Hey, are you listening? I would appreciate if you could at least pretend that you are..

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If I would have been standing closer to you I probably would have punched you, but that would have lead to hospital. I am the youngest here and the rest of the team doesn't even know what it´s doing. How do you expect me to assist you and how can all this proceed in a productive direction?

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Hey can you just tell me your name? I don't think we are getting anywhere like this.

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Time is running, you gotta understand this, I am sure you realized this yourself already by now. I'm feeling weak, I am close to the end. Can you write this down? It's important as you can tell.

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This whole place is crazy about security, no switched off cell phones, not even if they are lying on the floor, no pens or writing utensils in my hand or on the desk, so god forbid I need to take some notes while working. I was playing with a pen, this guy came up to me and said:”You know you can get fired for this right?” But its just a fucking pen! Can I play with my chapstick? Alright, that was fine. So you can understand that my situation is quite complicated at the moment. That's why I cannot help you, sorry.

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Again, Could you at least tell me your name? I don't think we are getting anywhere. Do you wanna meet again? All this questions make me feel stupid. Just answer something.

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The only thoughts that I have is us and you, I am terrified and I need to tell you that I love you.

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I wish I would have listen to some of my friends that did this before.. run man, run!

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We have a weakness in our organisation, we cannot meet the needs of people entering our space. I guess we could apologize for this, don't you think?

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This space is falling apart. Really. Isn't it supposed to be newly renovated?

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I want you to write this down.

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This whole place is crazy about security so don't worry. No switched off cell phones, not even if they are lying on the floor, no sharp or pointy objects, not even pens or writing utensils (so god forbidd I need to take some notes while working ha ha!) in my hand or on the desk. I was playing with a pan since I am an ex smoker, this guy came up to me and said: ”You know you can get fired for this right?” But its just a fucking pen! Can I play with my chapstick? Alright, that was fine. Tight security, people are giving us credit cards, Id numbers, personal bits of informations, however these people don´t have any money. I know that I have a roof over my head, I am better off these people calling. I run to my bus, I run home, I take off my shoes and I play video games because I am mad. But we offer a multitude of shitty plans and pay out an absolute horrible amount of money for shitty service.

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I was playing with a pen, right, this guy came up to me and said:”You know you can get fired for this right?” But its just a fucking pen! Can I play wih my chapstick? Alright, that was fine. So you can understand that my situation is quite complicated at the moment.

Well, then try to assist me with something else, don't you see? I'm exhausted. If I would have been standing closer to you I would have punched your eyeballs all the way through to your neck to assist you with your internal mind gap.

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What the fuck! I'll show you how to behave, just because you seem like a nice, even though slightly confused guy. I'll help you out. Just follow my directions and all will be fine and over soon.

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Listen: imagine you have to get surgery, it helps if you visualize that you just have to get over with it and that there is no other way around, right? That's it, simple no?

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There are other people waiting, so let's cut this story short, you weirdo.

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Do you get it now or should I rub it deep down into your ears until the information reaches your brains on a more direct track? Maybe then things start to clear out?

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I'll help you fix your issues before we get over to mine, so I show you what I mean by assistance. Let me just teach you how to help someone, alright? Is that an attractive offer?

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Ha ha ha (laughing) The only thing partially attractive around here is my face.

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You wanna know why you cannot solve my issue? Because you and all your issues are my fucking big big big problem.

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Oh ok, whatever, I show you anyhow what good assistance feels like. So, if I would walk out of this room now in the middle of our conversation, it would mean that we are not having a helpful conversation, but if I stay and engage a bit deeper with you and your personal thoughts, we might work things out and we would both feel fresh today.

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So your job is actually to make me stay here with you. Got it? Don't you dare walking away from me, or I'll personally damage your entire house before you even find out where I live. So, back to business. You are not able to fix my issue, but I might be able to fix yours. Don't you understand?

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So, hold your horses. Let me tell you, you are doing it all wrong! Otherwise you cannot proceed with a neutral conversation.

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If you get into volcano mode you lost and you might need to start all over again. It might help to visualize yourself as a stickfigure, get into computer mode, in fact imagine your best friend is a usb stick. It really helped for me. Can I know your name?

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My name is like a song: I'll sing it to you right now. So, here it comes:

 

What's my name, what's my name?
Feel the power of this moment.
What's my name what's my name?
What's it, what's it, say it, say it loud, feel the moment getting closer and finishing at once.

 

The only thoughts that I have is me and you, I am terrified and I need to tell you that this conversation isn't bringing us anywhere, as I feared from the very beginning. So, anything else you wanna share with me? Otherwise I'd say we are done.

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That's much better, a casual vibe helps everybody on this planet, even you, ugly little soul. But we should have a closer look at the details, otherwise you might really get me to run away ha ha (laughing). Let's try to refocus. This place looks like a mess, that's what I originally wanted to talk about.